(Wo)men at work

Recently in the media we heard a whole lot about women not getting paid as much as men.

Reasons ranged anywhere from plain old sexism to women not being confident enough in the workplace to ask for a pay rise because they “didn’t believe their position to be worthy enough.”

I know in relationships, many women are perfectly capable of speaking their minds and are at equal terms with their partner – and no one questions that. 

But with employment, it’s a different matter. And I’m not just talking about the pay.

Sadly I have noticed that in many cases in the workplace, women are still treated differently to their male colleagues.

For some offices, it’s tradition that women are filed into two annoyingly neat and restrictive categories: the “ball-breaker” who gets the promotion; or the “push-over” who gets the corner office and who will gladly do your filing for you while you go on holidays.

Of course, we all know women are a lot more diverse than this. But these are the stereotypes people in the office tend to fall back on time and time again – they’ve become as comfortable and familiar as tea breaks.
I remember a woman in a mid-level position in my office. She was loud, domineering and opinionated; but fantastic at her job. She negotiated a pay rise and ended up with a nice little package: the office with the view, a promotion – and the nickname “ball-breaker.”

There was a man at the same level who was also loud and domineering, regularly slamming doors and stomping around the place – but I never heard any names whispered about him apart from “busy and “important.”
It seems pushy or powerful men in the office get the privilege of more favourable words like “stern”, “firm” or “putting the foot down”. They are seen as someone to be respected, even feared.

But for women? “Psycho bitch” is one I’ve heard thrown around from time to time about certain and powerful women. I can’t say I’ve heard that said about any successful men I’ve worked with, even if they do have psycho tendencies.

It’s worth noting these words aren’t just used by men – women can be the worst perpetrators at times.
Of course, I know there are women out there who are both confident and forthright employees while remaining well-liked. I just want those less-than-favourable, stereotypical words not to make it to the workplace so often.

We’ve landed the right to work. We’re still working on equal pay. Can we at least start with this?

Switching off isn't so easy

I've jumped on the meditation bandwagon recently. Originally reserved for hippies, meditation has now belongs in the “cool thing to do” category, along with yoga and pilates.

But it’s more than a fad for me – it’s a health matter.  Being an anxious person by nature, it was recommended to me by my doctor as a relaxing technique.

The first time I tried it, I begun googling how to meditate, which kind of seemed like an oxymoron. "Free your mind" the websites told me. "Place yourself in a room with no distractions." I peered anxiously at my surroundings - a lit-up iphone, a laptop, and a heater that kept buzzing annoyingly. Not a great start.

I set my ipod to "rainforest sounds" to cover the noise of the traffic outside. Hmm. "Free your mind" I thought.

"Well this isn't so hard," (my mind) continued. "Wait - did I forget to pick up my dry-cleaning? Uh oh. Didn't free mind. Start again. Ummmm......free mind free mind..."

Cue iphone ringing. Back to square one.

Was it always this hard to just be alone, doing absolutely nothing? Or has the endless "need to be reached constantly" killed any hope of that?

I’m talking mobiles, Facebook check-ins, endless twitter updates on what we’re eating for lunch. It’s a scary thought that if we wanted; everyone could know what we’re doing at any time, every second, of every day.

But it’s not just that.

I don't even have kids, but in the midst of my attempted meditation, I wondered how on earth a Mother could sit alone in silence for more than 5 minutes when I know for a fact some can’t even go to the bathroom on their own without being interrupted.

I'm told there are other forms of "meditation" though – it doesn't have to be sitting in a room by yourself.

It is defined as “anything relaxing that you take pleasure in doing with just you and you alone” – from getting a massage or reading a great book. Whatever it is, it should be regular, the (google) experts say.

But with all the distractions in the world – is that really possible anymore?

In my room, I grudgingly switched off the iphone, the laptop and the ipod, and it was finally just me and the sound of...nothing.

At first it was a bit weird. There’s always something on – whether it be the TV, someone talking, whatever. But eventually, I was thinking of absolutely nothing and when I got up around 15 minutes later, I arose in a dreamy, Zen-like state of calm. Nothing could faze me.

It seemed I had to switch off, to really switch off.

Of course, that lasted approximately 10.5 seconds until I misplaced my car keys and was running around the house like a madwoman - but hey, baby steps.

What's your form of "meditation?" Do you struggle to find time to yourself on a regular basis?