Shopping envy

I went shopping with my boyfriend recently. And I must admit: the experience left me stunned, shocked and more than a little envious.

Let me put this into context. This man almost never enters a shopping mall. Yet on a bright autumn Saturday, when his old jeans had finally had it, he decided he needed to get a few things.

So he did. He bought ten items in the space of an hour. Everything he needed on his list – and strictly nothing more. Two pairs of shoes, a handful of shirts, a few ties, a pair of jeans and a jacket.

His winter wardrobe, sorted – all in the time it usually takes me to get lunch.

There wasn't any groaning or moaning or demanding to know opinions. 

He knew what he wanted and didn’t get distracted by anything else. Me on the other hand  – well it’s a little different.

I can go two hours and still not find the one thing I need. Of course, I’ve bought three other things I noticed along the way that I didn’t need, but somehow, I still can’t find anything on my mental list.

And even if I do, there’s endless hours of scrutinising, analysing, comparing, and asking for opinions that comes into play.

Shopping for me is that bittersweet, classic mixture of pleasure and pain – the pleasure when you finally find something you need that looks good outweighs the five hours of pain you endured trying, and failing, to find it and being stuck in a florescent change room staring back at your cellulite.

Oh how I envy men with their typical ensemble of jeans, a top and perhaps a scarf or jacket if they’re getting a bit out-there.

There’s so much more women are dealing with as our fashion changes by the minute – fur vests, leather trousers, skirts, poo catcher pants, cropped blazers, skinny legs, high cut shorts, bandage dresses....I’m exhausted just thinking about it. It’s a minefield.

“Done and dusted for another year,” my boy said smugly, carrying his bags as we walked out of the mall and I seethed silently.

Men, you don’t know how good you have it sometimes. Although, I’ll still choose getting to wear heels anytime.