Is your gaydar working?

Have you all heard of the gaydar? It’s the little radar that goes off in your mind when you meet someone who you get the feeling is gay.  To put it in a sentence, “he was really nice, but my gaydar was going off like crazy.” It’s an intuitive ability to assess one’s sexual orientation that saves you a lot of time and heartache.
Complacently, I’ve always maintained I’ve got a pretty spot-on gaydar.

But I’ve got something to confess to you.

When we first met, I thought my boyfriend was gay. Quite sure of it, actually.

We worked in the same building, and with his neatly pressed suits, expertly coiffed hair and perfect posture, everytime we got in the lift together I’d sigh and think “what a shame he’s not straight.”

But it wasn’t just those stereotypes that made me sure he batted for the other team. It was that darn gaydar beeping away, responding to his aura, his actions, his mannerisms. Polite, neat, and a little flamboyant…but then, I was used to the “bloke’s bloke” who yelled out “nice arse” from the window of his ute, so perhaps I wasn’t the best judge of character.

Anyway, at the time I thought I was an expert in that field; and usually my gaydar was right on the money.
So when he casually emailed asking if I wanted to go for a drink, I was slightly surprised, but thought that he must be on the hunt for a ‘hag’ – the must-have accessory for a gay man, a woman who they can share their thoughts and secrets with, minus the sexual confusion.

He offered to pick me up from my house, which I thought was a bit odd but considered he must just be the curteous type.  A small part of me was madly hoping he was straight, because something about him just seemed like my type, yet I couldnt pick it.

Throughout the date, my ‘gaydar’ was beeping madly. He turned up in jeans that fit snugger than mine, a country road scarf (for fashion, not for warmth), and a bright pink shirt. Flamboyant hand gestures, check. Ordering a cocktail with a little umbrella in it, check. Looked into my eyes rather than my chest, check.
So while I was attracted to this guy, and I felt a spark (which at the time I just a BFF spark), I thought surely this one is a write off.

There was the odd flirtation now and then, but mostly it was just friendly banter over cocktails, not unlike an outing with my girlfriends.

The date ended, and he dropped me home. As I was saying how nice it was to catch up, I noticed him eyeing me off in a way that didnt look like he was just admiring my outfit.

Just as I was thinking maybe this guy is straight, he turned to the car mirror and asked with serious concern: ”do you think my hair looks funny? I got a new hairdresser the other week, and I just dont think she did a good job.”

Playing with his hair, he sighed sadly…and so did I.

My gaydar was so confused by this stage it had malfunctioned; so I was on my own to figure it out.
Then, just as I slumped over, defeated with this guessing game, he leant over and kissed me.
There were fireworks, sparks, any cliche words you can use to describe it. And with that the game was called off, and my gaydar hasnt beeped once since.