The Three Monsters of Dating

It’s just like the old saying – you hear about it, but you never think it will happen to you.
Sometimes a friend will tell you a horrified, detailed account of it happening to her. You tell her how awful it is, but secretly you are thinking, smugly: ‘That can never be me.”

Unfortunately, it can.

However long you’ve been in the dating game, studies show 80% of women have encountered at least one of the many monsters of dating.

Usually normal-looking to the untrained eye, these monsters have been long roaming among us freely and are often impossible to identify until it’s too late. Here is a list of some of the most common monsters that may help.

The “Mr Excel and Brake”

This one is probably the most common of the three monsters. From the time you meet, he gets things started at a rapid pace – dinners, trips away, even talk of meeting the parents. Then, as suddenly as it started, he has a major freak out and says things are moving too fast and needs to stop seeing you – acting like it was you who suggested these trips, dinners, meeting of the parents. He’ll completely turn the tables around and while he had his foot firmly on the accelerator a week ago, now he’s slammed the breaks on the whole thing, leaving you to pick up the pieces and analyse just what happened. Studies show this particular monster has similiar traits to the “commitment-phobe”, which is mentioned later.

The “Mr Vague”

This one is tricky. Flying under the radar, this is a dating monster that has left the most experienced dating self help writers have baffled and simply unable to explain.
Picture this. You meet a guy in a bar, he gets your number. All sounds pretty normal, right? Fast forward a few weeks. You’ve been getting weekly text messages from this guy, usually every Thursday at 5. Each time his number comes up, you can’t help but think: “he’s going to ask me out for this weekend” – right? Wrong. These messages that Mr Vague keep sending are flirty, sweet even, but they never ever allude to meeting. Some Mr Vague victims think “he’s just too shy to ask me out.” So they ask him – but this has led to devastating results. One victim recalls: “I decided to take action and ask him. He didnt write back for days. Then the next week he sent me a message asking how I am… but everytime I mentioned catching up he gave a vague reply or disappeared off the face of the earth. He still messages, but I never write back now.” So, why is this guy wasting his credit on someone he has no intention of seeing?
Researchers have suggested various reasons.  The first reason is that he perhaps has a girlfriend, and wants to keep you on the “sidelines.” Just waiting there as a back-up, in case they break up, or he gets bored.
The other reason is a confidence boost; he may not want to date but likes to have women messaging him when he’s feeling bored or lonely.
Further studies are being conducted into this baffling phenomenom.

The “Mr Commitment phobe”

He hates planning in advance. In fact you usually get a message asking if you want to meet up just a few minutes before, giving you just enough time to throw yourself into the shower and chuck on the first clothes you find – usually resulting you turning up to the date with wet hair and your mother’s old sundress.
“Would you like to go to a movie this weekend?” You casually ask. The fear in his eyes is clear. Dont even think about trying to meet his parents, asking him to meet yours, or mentioning the word “marriage” or “wedding” – even if you are talking about your friend who just got married. You’ll have to sideskirt around the topic completely.

Dating gurus say the best thing to do is act easy breezy at all times and pretend you hate marriage or commitment. “Don’t call him or you’ll scare him off. Don’t talk about the future or you’ll scare him off. Don’t hold hands or you’ll scare him off.” Don’t listen to this crap. Clearly this monster is a time waster that forces you to walk on egg shells that you shouldnt have to walk on. Best thing is to drop him until he grows up.